1-22-19

There are 6 deer in the yard, but at 10 degrees, even ZeeZe is thinking twice about chasing them around the yard.

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1-21-19

Busy day. <3 Mom went to the doctor's... is physically fine (had some weight loss which is normal for her age and inactivity/ muscle wasting). And we will be trying a new medication to hopefully help with some of the symptoms of her dementia.
<3 Hopefully, this will be a sign of more rest ... for everyone.

The photo for today is an old one from 2011 that I never edited. It shows some (at the time) new apartment buildings in the Nob Hill neighborhood of Albuquerque.

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1-19-19

The much anticipated storm is here, and snow is coming down this weekend…..

I would do laundry, but I can’t … it’s been several weeks and although we were able to get a new washer and dryer, we can’t hook them up until the electricity is checked (again) … there were (literally) sparks coming out of them Thursday. It’s frustrating… but certainly not the worst that could be happening. I am exhausted. I had over 2 weeks of not sleeping at night/ barely sleeping during the day … with mom; and not that past 2 days I have hardly been awake. It’s all good. Thank goodness for my family. Now for some tea…

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1-18-19

this too… is an older photo that I never edited. Today is overcast and dreary… cold and windy… and I’ve no desire to go outside. I thought this photo, at least, cheered and warmed a bit.

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1-17-19

Occasionally, I will be using photos for my #createDaily project that I have previously taken, but not edited. This is one of them. I took this photo a couple years ago… but never took the time to edit, and so I did today. I like the way it turned out :)

And today… Mary Oliver passed away.

My world has dimmed … she was a much beloved poet; and she will be missed.

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1-16-19

Dr. appointment today… and another couple coming in the next few weeks >>sigh<<

On the plus side, we have steak, cheese and crackers… one of the benefits of being able to order things online. ZeeZe has been doing much better on his new medications, and hasn’t had a seizure in over a week. Michael is looking for work… Kristin is cutting back on work… Jim is happy with his work… and I am trying to find time to work. So there ya’ go :)

For today though, it is cold and overcast…. and I am thinking about a much needed cup of tea and a nap.

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1-15-19

Doctor appointment today, and another tomorrow…. >>sigh<<

On the plus side, I had ordered a wreathe for our front door to get us through til spring, and it arrived today. It is stunning… and smells heavenly….

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1-14-19

well, over the weekend I was able to finally go through the rest of the collage materials…. and now I need to go through all the sewing supplies, fabric and linens. It is a long process to go through things, but I really need to unload. If/ when we ever move, it will be great to not have so much to pack and load. If we never move, it will still be lighter in here.

I am continuing my #createDaily photos. The photo for today is one I took a couple years ago…. but never edited.

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1-11-19

This is an older photo, but one I newly edited today. At one time, I was on 13 different medications for my Lupus and various other issues. Today… I just use a rescue inhaler for my asthma, and CBD oil for pain. It’s wonderful to not be on so much.

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1-9-19

We have 2 Christmas cactus plants. One… the large one… I bought at a church sale back when I was 8years old. I paid a quarter for it, and brought it home in a Styrofoam cup. at 45+years old…. it has had it’s ups and downs. When mom moved in with us over a year ago, I thought it was mostly dead. She hadn’t been caring for it… and it showed. But today… it is healthy, happy… and blooming.

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1-8-19

It was a rough weekend. But then, I was going on very little sleep. My mom goes in binges where she is up and down all night… and this time, it was 10 nights in a row, with me getting little to no sleep during the day as well. But last night, she slept through the night… the first in well over a year where she didn’t get up at least once or twice during the night hours.

As you know, I am also doing a "#createDaily project where I post a photo of something during my stumbling about hours … either something pretty… something curious… an item I am working on.. . whatever. You can see all the photos here… or on my Instagram… or my facebook album.

The photo for today, is of our Goddess plant/ cacti in front of the salt lamp on our kitchen table.

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for the weekend

as promised… here are photos of some of the jewelry pieces I made in November and December when I wasn’t keeping up with the blog.

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1-5-19

I’ve always let other people influence me too much.

I was nearly date raped as a teen, because I trusted a “friend” who said I need to experience life more. i was talked out of going to art school because my parents convinced me that as a girl, I needed to learn something practical. I almost married someone who was abusive, because my mom convinced me that I was ugly, and “couldn’t do any better.” I’ve helped folks who (ultimately) took advantage of me… because I was convinced it was my duty as a friend. I tried to get into the “art scene”…. only to be told repeatedly that I had no talent and there was no place for me. These are just examples… but the point is….. I will no longer listen. I am not listening. …

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1-4-19

I used to be much more creative than I have been this past year. I feel like, to a certain extent, I’ve lost my way. I need to fix that if I am going to survive. Since this new year, I have resolved to do better. To take more time for me. To start doing the things I love to do again. I will still (of course) try to take care of family matters, mom, the house, etc…. but for so long now I’ve just been staggering through life. Doing what has to be done. I believe my mom is trying to kill me… but it’s more than that. Through taking care of her, I have been killing myself. I have squashed myself down to nothingness. I think, in part, it was an effort to try to win her love. To “tone myself down” into something she would find palatable. But that 1. isn’t possible… and 2. isn’t viable.

A couple weeks ago, my hubby took me to a hotel overnight in a nearby town. It was to be a break away… the first in almost 2yrs. It was wonderful. Sometimes it’s not so much the destination… as the traveling there… the experience… the change of view.

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