First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting this weekend.
There are times in life when you think you are getting better... and then things sort of fall apart just to let you know that control is not in your plans for the day. This was my weekend. As you know, I have been sick in a Lupus flare since Halloween, and I thought I was (finally) getting through it... when it decided to let me  know it was in charge. Pain, panic attacks, lack of sleep, vivid nightmares... they all came visiting with a strict agenda for me.
This move back to PA has been rough on so many levels... not the least of which is a huge financial worry. But also, ... and probably as expected... my PTSD has had more than its share of triggers. After (many) years of counseling and working through issues that led to a diagnosis in 1989, I thought I was "over it." ... but alas.
So.. I do what I usually do when anxiety and such rear their ugly head... I clean. I try to be productive.
So... the house is vacuumed, dusted, swept. I went through my side of the closet and unloaded some things. I went through my desk. I straightened the bookcases. I discovered (much to my repulsion)... that my business ledgers were in disarray... something I will be fixing this week. I watered plants. I cut back on my time on social media. I read alot. I worked on some crocheted scarves. I worked a bit in the studio.
And I made myself some ultimatums: To get my finances in better order. To update my will. To go through our "important" papers and make sure things are ok. To work on copying all my photos (yah... tens of thousands) into digital files so that we don't have to worry about lugging them around, or if they get damaged. To finish any projects (or pass them on to someone else). To take classes (probably online) on subjects I really want to learn about. To get (physically) more fit and healthy. And most importantly, to try to de-stress.
Today I am making spaghetti sauce, thanks to a gift of some tomatoes and sweet peppers from a friend. I will ponder the eclipse. I will listen to good music. I will snuggle my puppy. I will take some photos. I will work on creative endeavors. I will continue my mission of trying to make this world a better place... and me a better person for having tried.